World’s best joke: official

Yes, it is now official, the late, great (nay, fantastic) Spike Milligan wrote the world’s best joke:

Bentine: I just came in and found him lying on the carpet there
Sellers: Oh, is he dead?
Bentine: I think so
Sellers: Hadn’t you better make sure?
Bentine: Alright. Just a minute
(Sound of two gun shots)
Bentine: He’s dead.

BBC news: Spike ‘wrote world’s best joke’.


  1. Oh, oh, oh the Goons! Some of my very favourtie people. Don't get me started on the quotes, we'll be here for hours! But there was one, doing this from memory means it will not be exact!, where the characters somehow got hold of the typewriter which was writing the script and kept changing it as it went along to fit their parts/storylines better - priceless.

    [Knock on door. Door creaks open.]
    First Man: "Hello. Is this the props department?"
    Second Man: "No. You want the top floor."
    [Sounds of First Man climbing stairs, continuing to climb stairs, climbing yet more stairs, wheezing a bit now, yet more stairs etc.]
    [Knock on door. Door creaks open.]
    First Man: [Out of breath] "Hello, is this the…. Hang on a minute, you're the guy who opened the door to me on the ground floor, aren't you?"
    Second Man: "Yes."
    First Man: [Extremely puzzled.] "How did you get here before me?"
    Second Man: [With small triumphant laugh in his voice.] "Skipped a couple of pages!"

    That one has stayed with me almost more than any other, but there are so many. Thank you for reminding me to dig them out and have a laugh.Kitty#
  2. :-D I used to have a stack of Goons tapes… will have to dig them out. Great stuff. Can really recommend Norah Norma Farnes’ memoir about life with Spike: a fascinating, happy and sad read. Ben Poole#

Comments on this post are now closed.


I’m a software architect / developer / general IT wrangler specialising in web, mobile web and middleware using things like node.js, Java, C#, PHP, HTML5 and more.

Best described as a simpleton, but kindly. You can read more here.