No redeeming qualities, just bitter invective 26 Jan 2011
Larry Bowden, Vice President of portals and web experience at IBM, has written an article entitled, How to make your website more enjoyable which is fascinating, for all the wrong reasons. I don’t know whether I should even link to it (Hah! Of course I do. Here it is). It seems extraordinary to me that IBM have a senior person in charge of the car-crash that comprises their website—especially when said individual then feels compelled to write an article asking readers whether they “delight” their customers with their “exceptional” on-line experiences.
Jeepers. Still let’s move on. What insight does Mr. Bowden have for us now that we’re well into the 21st century?
I predict that in 2011 most businesses will start running the whole gamut of modern online web marketing activities by utilizing new tools and services made available by a variety of companies worldwide.
OK. Well that was a sentence entirely devoid of meaning. Let’s try again:
Take personal to a whole new level
Welcome the customer and make it personal by offering products and services so specialized that they can’t say “no.” One way to personalize is based on customer attitude, tastes, opinions, preferences, and desires. Use analytics tools…
Ah yes, analytics, IBM’s current “thing”. We call it “reporting” round our way, and we’ve had it since, well, since we’ve had websites. Still, there it is.
Mr. Bowden goes on to talk about personalisation, and how that is crucial for a successful business site. Indulge me as I tell a tale that is all too familiar to many IBM Business Partners out there: Big Blue make it personal for me by (a) getting my company name wrong on every page (despite my telling them the correct name in about sixteen different profile screens) and (b) by insisting that I use a defunct email address from my previous employer as my ibm.com log-in. Hmm. OK, I suspect we’ve said all that needs saying… Next!
If your marketing team is not discussing ways to add more rich media to your website, I recommend it start now. According to the information technology encyclopedia website WhatIsThis.com, rich media is…
Enough. NEXT!
Make it go
If you can’t check out all the sections of your website with a smartphone or an iPad then forget about gaining and retaining new customers.
Wise words. It makes sense to have your site accessible from mobile devices, especially when you consult with partners and customers about “exceptional web experiences.” So let’s take a look at ibm.com, first with the ready.mobi validator:
Hmm, not so good. But take it with a pinch of salt: they’re not testing with smartphones in mind, and they have stuff to sell. What about the W3C’s mobile checker?
Better.
I think I’m done. Thanks for hanging in there, I am off for a lie down in a dark room.
(If you want some help with your website, have a chat with your friendly local web developer or IBM Business Partner. They will help you, and on their behalf I promise they won’t use the words “analytics” or “exceptional”).
Jon, I have no attention span, I get easily distra—LOOK! A SQUIRREL!Ben Poole#
My IBM ID, which is not to be confused with my LDD ID (which used to be called my Notes.net ID) is an email address from at least 3-4 employers ago.
It's personal. But not from this millennium.Darren Duke#
This sort of thing reminds me of a joke. What's the difference between IBM and a government department ? IBM is listed on the NASDAQ.
I find those adverts I occasionally see about a "Smarter planet" and "I'm an IBMer" to be antagonising when you look at the state of affairs.Giulio#
@Ben - My apologies for this blatant advert. I don't mean to hijack the thread, just thought it was a good opening.
@All - sorry for my sucky ass apology and sounding like a whiny little girl
@Ben (again) - Damn, I wish you were coming to LS this year.Devin Olson#
@14 :-D yes, I wish I was attending too. Have a beer or five for me!
Ben Poole#